I've wanted to double major in Spanish and Marketing since I can remember.
I've seen my self walking downtown in a power suit and drinking unhealthy amounts of coffee and doing awesome projects and traveling and collaborating with other business people and making good money and so forth...
I never really gave thought to any other major...it was marketing and spanish. end of story.
But maybe I don't want to do that anymore.
Maybe I never want to wear a suit in my entire life.
Maybe I want to drink unhealthy amounts of coffee in jeans and old sweatshirts and slippers.
I still want to travel and collaborate with other people...but not about business stuff.
I'd rather just see the world and embrace it as a testament to God's glory.
And collaborate with people on interesting stuff. real stuff. eternal stuff.
And I'd still like to make money of course...but I don't want money to make me.

So what do I do?
I mean, I know this is not very original.
I know most people change their major 2, 3, 5 times throughout school and it all works out fine.
I know it's normal for people to go off to school and want to do all these radical, awesome things and have all these radical, awesome ideas.
I'm nothing new - i get that.

But I don't really want things to turn out fine.
I want things to be incredible. And radical. And awesome.

I want to do so much more than get an average degree, settle down with average Joe, and live in average neighborhoods doing average things.
There's nothing wrong with average...
And there's nothing wrong with degrees and settling down and living in neighborhoods either...And I don't mean to imply that I find all people with degrees who've settled down in neighborhoods to be average...
I just don't want it for myself, at least not right away.

I want big and awesome and radical and exciting and eternal things.
I want the urgency of the news of Christ to run my life rather than the urgency of next month's paycheck.
I want to go places and see places and read books and write books and learn things and share things...
I want to do so much that I can't even streamline my thoughts enough to write them down.

But I just wanted to make note of that to anyone who's reading this... because if I start to settle for average, I want people to be there to hold me accountable.
...call it the overzealous dreaming of a naive girl if you want to, I won't mind.
But I'm just warning you that I'm going to continue to dream overzealously (is that a word?) ...so if it bothers you, stop reading. =]