::ToDaY iS aLL YoU'vE GoT NoW::

Theres not quite a word to describe what I'm feeling right now. Vulnerable comes close. Mostly just sad. If you know me well at all, you know that I'm usually very bitter. I mean, lets be honest, that's just how I am. Sometimes I get angry, or frustrated, and on the off chance that you catch me on a bad day, a combination of the three. But today I just feel sad. And its freaking me out because I'm not used to feeling this way. It's a crappy feeling. One of the worst ones. I'd take angry over this any day. When you're angry, you can do something about it, you can hit something, or yell, or scream, or something. But being sad is a pretty helpless thing. Theres no remedy, no cure. Crying helps. But not a lot. It's like my heart is hurting, like watching a puppy get run over. You can't do anything, but wait it out. Eventually you can move on, realize that the puppy is in a better place, and you'll start to feel better. Which gives me hope, I mean I know it will be over one day. But the waiting is sucky. It really is. And when it's over, I'll be better, I'll be stronger, and I'll be able to know that I made the right decision. But for now, I feel sad. I feel very sad.