...NoThiNg HuRtS WhEn No OnE's ReAl...

Brandon moved out today.
I felt a lot of different things all day, but mostly sad. I didn't really think I would but I definently did.
There was also some guilt in the whole array of emotions. Just because of the anger that I have been feeling towards him this summer. It was just really stupid of me and I had no right to feel that way...but part of me still does.
I dont know. It's hard, it's really really hard and weird and i dont even know. I just wish that we could go back to being little kids for a day because I really miss that. I hate how life changes things. It's just weird that chances are I will never live with him again, and I took so much of that for grant it, especially this summer, and it sucks.
Idk, this is definently harder than I had imagined. So much for the whole relief thing.

::and though I dont know, I dont know what he's after. He's just so beautiful. He's such a beautiful disaster. And if I could hold on through the tears and laughter...would it be beautiful. Or just a beautiful disaster?::