...pReTtY SoOn ShE'lL FiGuRe oUt WhAt HiS iNtEnTiOnS WeRe AbOuT...

okay just to warn you - this blog is going to completely consist of me complaining...so I wouldnt read it if i were you...

Okay so today really sucked. And by really sucked, I mean if I had the chance to move to Iran i would take it over staying here... I woke up today feeling like a truck had run over me...I'm not the type to fake sick to get out of something but i really wasnt sure how I was going to make it to school feeling the way I did. But ever since my brother went to truency court a few months ago, I got completely screwed and am not allowed to miss a day of school even if I was dying. Thank you Brandon. But he had a crappy day today to so I'll let it slide just this once.

So I get in the car w/ brandon and head to school looking like crap, w/ no make up on, hair up and messy, ugly jeans, a thrift world t-shirt, and my ripped up sweatshirt. So I'm in tears on the way to school because I felt horrible and by horrible I mean it felt like I had been run over by an 18-wheeler, my eyes were burning (oh yeah i may not have mentioned that I have pink eye in...oh thats right...BOTH eyes) but hey! no missing school for that!

And Brandon decides that the only way to cheer me up is by blaring Spice Girls in the car and dancing to it...and so he does. So for the rest of the day, i feel like crap and cant get "if you wanna be my lover" out of my head. Then we walk in through the band/drama hall like always and he "leads" me through the hall singing...no screaming Spice Girls. And by leads i mean putting his hands on my shoulders and making me walk into like 5 million people and their instruments. All of his drama friends got a kick out of that and I was not allowed to forget it for the rest of the day.

Then was biology...which really isnt that hard of a class but i just hate it. I really want it to die. I mean I dont care what cells are made of or what type of osmosis occurs during this time in this situation and blah blah blah...

Biology was followed by 15-minute break and then english. I really do enjoy my english class...its a lot of work but I like it. But of course today is the one day I forget about my homework, then do it in biology to turn in - and then loose it.

After english is Spanish I. Thats when the 4 Motrin and 2 decongestant wore off. And apparently sleeping in that class is like committing murder. So I got yelled at for that. Went to lunch to find out I was almost out of money on my account and had to eat this sick-nasty "pizza" - though i doubt thats what it was - and stole two of Taylars Motrin just to get me through the day. Went back to spanish...to find out i'm making a freaking B in that class which does not count as a p/ap course and therefore will bring down my GPA. Yes I understand that grades aren't that important...but whatever.

After spanish is cheerleading...and sometimes I wonder why I have to even think about whether or not to try-out for next year. - but knowing me i probably will - ((officiall "have-to-make-the decision-by-day is Monday...)) we worked on our Freshmen/JV pep-rally. And if you are not a cheerleader then just know that we really do work our butts off. Today was just not a good cheerleading day... YOU try stunting Kendal while feeling like death and then having another cheerleader yell at you for something that was their fault...YAY FOR ME!

So then I came home from school with the intentions of going straight to the hair place, then out to dinner, then to biblestudy which was going to be at IHOP tonight. But lucky me, I get sick on the day that all of that was planned for. So instead I came home and slept for 3 hours. Then I woke up and had dinner and now I am blogging. I should be sleeping but I just took another 3 Motrin and 1 decongestant which keep me awake. So here I am blogging about my day. Sorry to those of you who have read this far. I suggest you stop reading now.

My brother apparently had a bad day and his solution is having a million people over to play video games. He also decided to steal my cell phone (which is dead anyway because i didnt pay it again...so it doesnt really matter) and the house phone. So every person that called me was either yelled at by one of his friends, or told that I was dead. I doubt we are truly related.

So now i am sitting at my computer in my favorite cut off sweat pants (jealous liz??) and still feel like a truck ran over me. If i am forced to go to school tomorow then I am walking right out...no joke. I'll take my 2 Wednesday schools and 6 demerits. Bring it on.

And I've recently realized that I am not strong enough to do the things that I want to. Even if I try SO hard to do the right thing...I always end up failing at it. Yeah i know I'm throwing myself a pity-party but I dont really care.

I've also realized that just as soon as you put your faith in someone they just tear you down. So the obvious solution...put my faith in God. But its really a lot harder than that...at least I think so. And that people and their intentions are always hidden under a really sweet, almost too perfect front.

Yipety Friggin Doo.

I know that I really do have a good life...and that I sure as heck am an extremely lucky person. As a really awesome person pointed out to me...I've been given a second chance and I need to use it wisely. We'll see how that goes.

**when I think I've lost it all...i go on...**