...MaYbE tHiS TiMe i CaN FoLLow tHrOuGh...

Beware of a sappy/sickeningly-sentimental blog...I'm listening to my "inspirational" CD.

I'm a driving machine. Let me tell yah...i rock. Yesterday, approximately 20 minutes after getting my permit, I drove from my house to Wal Mart and back again. And no one died. :)

The doctor said that I tore the cartilage between my knee cap and whatever the thigh bone is called. So no torn ligaments, which is good, but he said surgery looks like an option for the future. I'm not exactly sure what the "future" is in terms of knee operations but I'm good for now so thats all I really care about. Basically I just have to wear this amazing knee brace and not jump/tumble/run for a while. Get ready for super fat bailey! I'm pumped...ish.

26 days until school is out. Including weekends. Do you realize how happy this makes me? No, I dont think you do. Although, this summer probably wont compare to last years, and I can't decided if that's a good thing or not.

I've been noticing how crappy things are lately. But not in that - my life sucks so feel sorry for me - sort of way. It's more of a - how can people live when this is all they think they have - sort of way. I mean really, if I thought the best it was ever gonna get was how it is in this place...suicide would not be a distant concept.

I'm also noticing they way my mind has been working with out me a lot lately. It's not letting me think the things I want to. It's thinking all the things I'm trying to avoid, and thats always a sign of a breakdown thats on the way...but I think this time I'm gonna be okay with it. I got my game face on. And if the last 6 months have brought me this far because of a major breakdown, then I'm ready for another one.

**TidLe WaVe, TaKe Me DoWn...i'M ReAdY tHiS TiMe...JuSt wAiT TiLL i TaKe tHiS LiFe VeSt oFF**