Everybody Dance Now.

Had coffee w/ nathan today before biblestudy. good guy that nathan. and tonight was our fellowship night for biblestudy so we had a picnic at kids kastle. It was really fun and i just love those girls so it was great.

Hoping to go see Napolean Dynomite with my father this weekend or sometime soon at least. Brent was telling me how he went to see a movie with Shelby and that he had a great time...and i have already noted that my dad and i dont spend enough time together so it just made sense. And also i havent seen that movie yet and i heard its good.

Cheering @ the football game tomorow. we havent had a game in two weeks so im pretty pumped about it. Hopefully our B team will win one this time so we will have something to cheer for. I dont think i am doing the best job at witnessing to my cheer group though. I went into this knowing that i needed to use this as my ministry just like Ali and Katie have...and i just dont feel like i have done that to the extent that i want to. I love all of those girls and i spend SO much time with them every week so i really need to work on that.

Im so excited because this week is going by so fast! It feels like its a monday when really its like almost the weekend. I love when that happens. But its gonna be a long day tom. with back-to-back games so i really should get some sleep. Have a great day tomorow! (this is probably full of bad grammar and spelling but its 11:30 so i dont really care Ü)

thought for the night - um i dont really have a good one - sry kids

Havent blogged in a while

So heres the things that i have decided over the past week...

-i dont spend enough time with my dad
-no matter how hard i try i will always be a "b" student
-cheerleading is a ton of fun but oh so very time consuming
-the people who really care about you are the ones who know somethings wrong even when you say there isnt
-my brother is frekin hilarious
-when someone you really care about is hurt, theres really nothing you can do
-sometimes i am so lucky and the decisions i make end up working out so much better than i had imagined
-and then sometimes im a total idiot and dont know why i make the decisions i do
-it was a pretty exciting cowboys/redskins game
-i keep waiting for a good weekend...and its just not happening for me

thought for the night - im really tired

Title

So lets see this weekend was ok. But it wasnt restful which is what i was hoping for. I used to think that weekends were the perfect time to get away from life, school, homework, people, ect. But ive come to see that those things continue to be on my mind throughout friday saturday and sunday. Ive said before that im quitting school. And you all think im joking, however just to let you know im really not. I hate it. Lets throw a bunch of highschool self-absorbed teenagers into one building and see who survives and who doesnt based solely on looks and "cliques." Well sign me up.

Anyway, friday night was boring. Went to addies and then we met up w/ nicole and alyx. A few things happened that were...well i dont know. but im just gonna forget friday happened. Saturday i babysat all day and then went to the movies with Alisha, Lisa, Amanda, Katie, Keila, i dont remember who all was there but we went to see Cinderella Story. The Lorenc girls and I listened to Ice Ice Baby about a thousand times and i now know most of the lyrics. Went back to keilas for the night and we stayed up talking. Its awesome having a friend like her to keep you in check and talk seriously with. The fact that Christ has threaded together two completely opposite people through his undenying love is so great. She is such a great person and i love her so much.

Sunday well you know the drill church in the morning then again at night. Took bridget to the mall between services for her birthday (which was in may but i owed her) Crazy how much 8-year-olds can teach you about being confident and not caring about what other people think. Something i definently struggle with. Night services i had trouble concentrating...a lot on my mind. Thought i could hide it but according to John im "not fooling anyone."
Good to know...ill work on it.

Anyway, dreaming about this up coming weekend. Friday is the pep-ralley which we have been preparing for for so long. Im pretty excited about that. Hopefully i will have a restful and better weekend once friday rolls around. Until then...four more days of school. Wonder if im gonna make it...chances are slim.

thought for the day - its all overrated

Power of DiXiE LaNd

Remind me again who just beat LSU the defending national champions...oh thats right auburn frekin university. The Tigers Rock My Face Off!!

Going to the movies tonight. I dont know what we are seeing yet but w/e.

Really no point to this blog except to say that I Love the Auburn Tigers!! and of course War Eagle.

Jack And Bobby

New show on the WB called Jack and Bobby. To be honest i really dont watch much tv anymore, not enough time in the day. Plus as im sure you know a lot of my free time is wasted on this computer. Anyway, the shows premise is about two brothers living with their single mother. One of them is to become the president of the united states and the show is "looking back" at their highschool years. It's actually a very good show, talking about the problems of highschool and with family. I like it anyway.
Today kinda sucked, contentment used to be so easy and now it seems like it will be forever until i find it again. Maybe this weekend will be a nice break. Away from school and people. But chances are it wont be because that would be something actually working out the way i planned it. And if i have learned anything in the past few days, weeks, months...its life never works out the way i plan it. Go figure
thought for the night- i dont have one - if you think of a good one let me know

Ryan Cabrera

Sick and tired of this world
There's no more air
Tripping over myself,
going nowhere
Waiting, suffocating, no direction
So much beauty in life
Shining on the outside
Empty on the inside
I get lost sometimes
Blinded by the flashing lights
Distractions always in my eyes
Coming in with nothing, leaving with the same inside

So Noisy!!

"Yesterday, O Lord, was a frantic day - of running and driving and chasing; A 24-hour blur of sights and sounds. your calm, Your still, small voice was drovned by the rumble of traffic, the boom of stereo loudspeakers, the drone of gossip, the blast of coaches' whistles, the scream of family arguments, the blare of prime-time television, the ring of telephones, the crash of locker doors, the pound of headaches that beat like bass drums. Lost in the circus of sounds, O Lord, was your golden voice that was meant to whisper your comfort as softly as a forest breeze, as softly as a kitten's purr, a child's embrace buried amidst the cacophony of noise, O Lord, was your calm assurance that was intended to come as silently as a cloud sailing the sky, as silently as a smile, a ray of light, a bird in flight. Help me today to rediscover your nearness- to quiet my sould and hear You speak, to shut out the high-decibel sounds of people and traffic and music; that i may again hear the sounds of Your silence so deep, deep within my heart."

With all the things that are going on right now...even though i spend time in the word everynight before bed...i have very little if any time to be still. I know that life is more peaceful when you trust in God. But to put something very personal on this stupid blog...i have had a lot of trouble with that lately. Its not that i have just put God aside, i make time to pray and study the word everyday...but the closeness that used to be there just isnt. And im trying, i really am.

thought for the night - i feel how a pardoned criminal probably feels toward buddies left behind in prison. you'd love for them to join you on the outside, but the bars are all they know. And they only laugh at you when you tell them that the warrant for release-the pardon-has already been signed. - S. Rickly Christian (kinda irrelevant to the blog - get over it)

I Miss Summer

Last night was just like this past summer. Me nicole addie and alyx were all at addies house after the game...which we won - we walked over to nicoles and matt and jimmy came over and we all went swimming. then we were just kinda hanging out or w/e and me addie and nicole were trying to find alyx and the guys who were like running all over the neighborhood...it was really funny. Then they went back to jimmys and the girls and i went to addies for a little bit. We snuck back to hang out w/ them at like 2... We were just kinda sitting in front of jimmys house talking and stuff. The stars were out and it was really peacful. It was a very familiar feeling. We left there at like 3 or 3 30 and got back to addies to sleep. Then the guys came back over this morning at 9:30 so we got like no sleep last night. Jimmy lit my hair on fire...that was fun. I swear they are obsessed w/ those lighters lol. It was so much like this summer! I miss it so much. But i cant deal w/ it anymore because as fun as last night was, i dont know if its a good thing or not. It seems to me a lot like im back where i started. One things goes wrong and im running back to where i was before i realized i had screwed up. ugh

thought for the day - dont waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head (its not really a thought as much as a song but w/e)

If only...

There are so many people who inspire me in so many different ways. My parents, former small group leaders, adult leaders from church, a pretty cool kid named keila, and a few others have really changed my life and i respect them so much. They are the kind of people who you want to be like. The kind who are faithful and encouraging. Who love you no matter what, and are willing to sit there and listen to you whine about your life (to some extent)
I have come to really appreciate the kind of people who will take time to just ask how your day is going and really mean it. Too many people say hey how are you and dont really care how you are. It's the little things like that, that can show you the true character of a person. Its hard to admit how much you've screwed things up, harder to ask for help, and even harder to change...but for all the people who are putting up w/ me while im trying (or at least trying to try)...thanks. You truly are a blessing.

Check Please

Wouldnt it be easier if life was like eating at a restaraunt? You could order what you want - when you want it, if something came out wrong you could take it back, and you can leave whenever you want. It really sucks that its not like that. One of my close friends has been dating this guy for like forever and this weekend he decided to move on. Its the worst feeling to see how hurt one of your closest friends is and not be able to help them. Theres nothing i can do for her but sit there and let her cry...it kills me. Sometimes i feel like if someone just sat there w/ me and cried w/ me id feel better. But its just such a helpless feeling, i hate it.
Its just another example of how much people can hurt you.
Its either time for dessert or its time for the check and im leaning towards the latter.
thought for the day - chocolate is a bandaid no matter what they say

^sorry for having such a depressing blog

Book It!! Baby!!

So i totally got this button that says 'book it' on it and i wore it when i worked @ sonic today. It was really fun. I worked ALL day today. From 10 30 till 5 i worked on this float for homecoming w/ keila and a bunch of other people. It was really fun but it took SO long. then i came back here w/ nicole nd we hung out for a while. and then i worked sonic tonite till 10. So im pretty tired and on top of everything my parents are pissed @ me because i "worked way to hard when i should have been resting". i frekin hate being sick. i cant wait till this is over.
thought for the night-Buildings with a hundred floorsSwinging around wild indoorsMaybe I don't know where they'll take me butGotta keep moving on, moving onFly away, breakaway

Centers

We are reading 7 habbits of a highly effective teens for cheerleading. Its a somewhat cheesy, but still pretty good book that talks about life habbits for teens. Today in class discussion we talked a lot about our "centers." There is like friend centered - where everything you do revolvs around your friends, and theres also parent centered, school centerd (yah thats me lol) boyfriend/girlfriend centered and a few others. I have always known that God is the most important thing in my life and that everything I do should revolve around my relationship with Him, but something about the way the book worded the importance of finding your "Center," really made the idea stick out in my mind. Every decision that we as christians make, should be one that is thought out and that would be pleasing to God the Father. That is definently something i have strugled with. I have so much going on that its hard for me to remember to base all of my actions and words on Him. I have definently overbooked myself with school, cheerleading, biblestudy, drama, and everything else, so its hard for me to remember sometimes especially when i am so stressed out. But it shouldnt be something i have to remember, it should be instinct...habbit. I dont know.
thought for the night-if who i am is what i have and all i have is lost who am i?

Yes I Realize I just blogged

God is Good... its hard sometimes to understand the reasons for certain things to happen. I know that all struggles i will face will make me a better person and help me to learn more about myself and about christ my savior. God is Good... my eyes have been opened to the fact that i will always be faced with road bumps, and while frustrating, i need to handle it with grace and dignity. It is evident that life is not easy, life is not always fun or fair. but life is life and its my life that i want to use praising God and giving him thanks. I have made mistakes and i have been a follower of loose living, but i have come to my senses and it shows me just how great God is and that God is Good...
thought for the night-life can slap u in the face if your facing the wrong way

Ch-ch-check it out

So my friend and i were listening to beastie boyz...whom i must admit i used to hate because well i just did. But i have decided that i really like some of their songs. I dont know they arent like my favorite but not too shabby id say.
ok that was random anyhoo on to my real point of the blog.
Boyz...yes boyz. I have decided that there is WAY too much focus on boys these days(for highschool girls that is) i find myself attracted to this one guy, but its so frustrating because i know that i am thinking about it way to much, when i should be thinking of other things that are more important. The focus is directed to much on things that arent as important as i am making them. It is a difficult thing to do when homecoming is next week and i am required to go to the dance and everything for cheerleading. I mean i have someone id like to go with and possibly have a relationship with but i am disqusted w/ myself about how much time i have spent thinking about it. I know i am not thinking enough about my relationship with christ and not spending enough time in the word. There are so many things i know are wrong, now i just need to change them.
thought for the night-easier said than done

Good Days

Even when my "school life" is crappy and im not having a good week or w/e i love spending time w/ my youth group. I was thinking about it tonight and i just feel so blessed that i have a group of people who i think really care about me. I see these people every week and some of them every day and i love being able to call them my friends. We have such a unique connection as well because even though we may not all get along perfectly, we know that we are brothers and sisters in christ and we love eachother for our differences. It is amazing and so rare that i have a group of people like that. I absolutely love it. Ü
thought for the night-old spice deoderant is not just for guys :)

Counting Down

Im counting down the days to when i have to go back to the doctor. All i really want to be able to do his normal stuff like cheerleading or even just going to hang out w/ people. But with my luck the doctor will say im out for another two weeks or something. ugh. I dont know its just frustrating. Im going to freshman girls biblestudy tonight for the first time. I missed last week so im kinda excited about going. I think our group is going to bond really well this year because i love all the girls that are going. Not much else to say and im late for school. Ü
thought for the day-one size does not fit all