{You Know All The Right People}

This will probably be my last blog for a while, and possibly ever if I'm eaten by a shark while I'm in Destin.
Tomorow, Heather and I are taking our much needed road trip and I am soooo excited. We went shopping for food and stuff tonight so we dont have to stop as much tomorow and I cant freaking wait!
Friday, ((and possibly tomorow night)) are my Liz days because she comes home TOMOROW!!!!!!!!!! then she leaves on Saturday so we have to make the most of our short time together. Plus I'm working on music camp dances and having lunch with Keila and Katherine on Friday...talk about fun!
Saturday is CeLeBrAtE FrEeDoM '05 and im like flipping out excited about it. Last year was soooo much fun and this year is gonna be like 10 million times better.
Then Sunday my family and I leave for good old Alabama/Florida. We'll be in bama until the 5th when we'll drive down to Destin. Then we'll spend 4 days in the beautiful sun on the beautiful beaches of beautiful Florida. Barring any shark attacks its going to be awesome. Try not to miss me too much, I mean it's only a week people.
Like Brent talked about in biblestudy tonight, we tend to feel more spiritual in places like the mountains or the beach, so I am really looking forward to spending time with God away from the confinement of my room.
Plus it will be really refreshing to get away from stupid people with stupid issues for a while. I mean, I say that like my family doesnt have stupid issues, but I'm talking like non-family members. No nannying, or dumb telivision, or dumb distractions, or computers. Which means I'll have plenty of time to journal and read and sort out my head.
I think I should take trips like these more often, I definently waist way too much time being online, sleeping, being lazy, etc.
Okay I'm getting off track. So like I said, don't miss me too much. It'll be hard, but you'll pull through. Make good choices while I'm gone, too. And leave me comments! After being gone this long, I BETTER get some serious comments people.

*P.S. If a shark does end up killing me, just know that I love you all.

:: MoRe ThAn OcEaNs AwAy FrOm WhO wE aRe ::

I HATE TITLES

So I haven't really ever done this before, but I'm thinking its time for shout outs here on this blog. Sound good? Great. I'll try to cover people that have commented on this before, but if I forget you...then dont hate me.

Okay here goes...

Keila - um you rock my whole face off. and this summer is amazing because of you. and i pretty much adore everything about you.

Liz - well you rock my whole face off too. but im NOT happy that you are leaving for a month for camp after being gone for three weeks in Florida. with out me, i might add. I mean seriously Liz, its like, you're ruining my life. I hope you're happy.

Alyx - i miss you. a lot.

Nicole and Addie - yall are coming home on tuesday, talk about being excited...

Alex Ehrich - tar babies '05!!! im glad we're friends again. :)

Brent - You think you're sooo sneaky putting my Mr. Bother episode on the big screen, dont you? Well let me tell you something Mr...this is NOT over. Oh no, its not. You better watch your back because I'm a fighter, and I will win. You can pull your little "you can win battles but you wont win the war" crap...but deep down inside, you're scared. and you know it.

Nathan - so you're like a dad now. thats pretty crazy. and you know I've decided that I dont give you enough credit for everything that you do. your wisdom astounds me. thanks for everything, pops.

Erin Paige - you are a beautiful human being. dont forget that.

Bekah - i miss you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much its not even funny.

Bethany - you are possibly one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. not even kidding. im so glad i get to graduate with you. and im SO excited about sitting on the right side of the hall way this year, b squared forever!

Heather Davis - i dont like when we fight. i heart you.

Jennifer Lorenc - holy crap where have you been, defina???? i LOVE YOU TIMES ONE MILLION.

Nurge - hey hows driving? oh thats right... :). im gonna miss you a whole whole lot.

Steve-O - i think you're my favorite engaged person right now. just so you know.

Katherine - so Keila said that you, me, and her were gonna hang out soon. im excited, not gonna lie.

Marci - omgsh cant freaking wait to watch that movie w/ you, liz, and alex. except we might have to ditch liz because shes DITCHING US FOR A MONTHHHHH!!!!! ugh.

Kaylah - the ride home from mexico was awesome with you...stalker boys!!! ahhh!!! :) i totally love you!!

Christopher - member when you commented on my blog as aceman? you crack me up.

Alicia - ugh i know holland needs you, but texas misses you.

Okay i think i covered everyone. If not then tell me and ill make an entire blog all about you. It's been fun.

..CaUsE i FiNd MySeLf iN yOu...

Nothing very blog-worthy going on.

My family is dealing with something pretty crappy. I'm obviously not gonna go into detail, but it's kinda getting me down these days, along with my parents, and that always sucks.

PLUS keila, nicole, addie, and liz are out of town and thats really crappy. Keila comes back today though, nicole and addie come back on tuesday, and liz comes back on like the 30th i think and then has ONE DAY at home before she leaves again for a whole freaking month!! My life is basically over. Seriously. Life - Liz = DEATH.

So I'm pretty much just nannying like every day and getting ready for our trip. Speaking of which, I think I said that we were going to Daytona in my last blog, but that was a lie. We're going to Destin... I was close.

Right, so like I said, nothing blog-worthy going on. 8 days till vacation. 2 days till Brandon comes home. Can't wait for either. Life's pretty boring. I'm loving summer though.

I'm going shopping today for clothes for Florida and that should be fun.

Right... okay bye.

So YoU HaD a BaD DaY...

10 days until Florida...

i can't freaking wait.

Except we have to stop by the anual Bolton family reunion on the way. That's my mom's mom's side. I think I might shoot myself. These reunions are literally like what you see on TV. Old people that I dont know telling me how old I've gotten and how i'm just the cutest little thing you ever did see. Plus there are thousands of screaming children that I'm supposed to remember running around crying. They last forever and my mom makes us wear matching clothes. It's probably the worst thing in the world. The only upside is the food. Hundreds of old, grey-haired women in Alabama make the BEST food you will ever have.

But who cares because after that is sunny florida! Gulf Shores got cancelled, if we have extra time we're gonna try to stop by but we found a better deal at a resort in Daytona beach. That kinda sucks because Gulf Shores is not only tradition but also heaven. But its okay. My family hasnt been on a vacation with just us in soo long. I can not wait. A whole freaking week at the beach!!!!

I need this vacation so bad...im sooo excited!!!

45 YeaRs

Today's my dad's birthday.

He's 45 years old, which I like to remind him is half way to 90. We're celebrating by having a big lasagna dinner complete with italian bread, green beans, corn and my infamous chocolate on chocolate cake. I bought him the 2004 Country's greatest hits CD. It's kind of stupid but I think he'll like it.

Nothing could ever explain the daddy-daughter thing. It's the kind of relationship that you won't get unless you have it. And I'm lucky enough to get it.

My dad is honestly one of my favorite people in the whole wide world. I admire him more than anyone for what he's been through and how he's dealt with it all. They say girls tend to marry someone a lot like their dad. I really hope thats true.

He is a strong follower of the Lord, he serves his family, he's a good husband, a great dad, and one of the funniest people you will ever meet. He's not very social but you start talking Auburn or Atlanta Braves and you can't get him to shut up. He's a passionate writer and believes in me more than anyone else. From teaching me how to tie my shoes, to following my softball team all over Alabama for a good 6 years, to akwardly trying to make me feel better when I'm having "boy issues," hes amazing. In every way. And I'm so stinkin lucky.

Plus...my dad could beat up your dad. :)

You Probably Wont Appreciate This...

You Know You're From Alabama When...

*You have a party or a barbeque whenever Alabama plays Auburn in football.
*You go to Gulf Shores every summer.
*You call the Atlanta Braves baseball team "us" like they're actually from Alabama.
*You would much rather visit Florida than California.
*You don't "take", you "carry" or "tote"... as in "You want me to carry you down to the 7-11?"
*A soft drink isn't soda, cola, or pop, it's Coke.
*You call it a "buggy" and not a shopping cart.
*You've said "fixin' to," "might could," or "usetacould" during the last week.
*Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
*You know the meaning of the phrase "Fobbed again."
*You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Opelika, Bayou La Batre, and Oneonta.
*The Talladega 500 is the biggest sporting event of any sort during the entire year.
*You know exactly what chitlins and mountain oysters are, and you know someone who eats them anyway.
*You think that people who complain about the humidity in other states are sissies.
*You aren't surprised to find rental movies, groceries, ammunition and bait all in the same store.
*You've missed a wedding or a funeral to go to a football game.
*Asian food is always "CHINESE" regardless of the fact that it may actually be Korean or Japanese or Thai
*You actually get these jokes.

^funny because it is SO true!

::SaD, StRoNg, SiCk, aNd SoBeR::

i just cant shake this feeling. its driving me nuts. There's some corny saying out there about time healing, but im really starting to think that its the opposite, because the more and more time passes, the less and less sure of myself I get. I dont really believe in regretting things. But if I did, I think I'd regret this.

::what would you say if i asked you not to go
to forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
would you take my hand and never let me go
promise me you'll never let me go
and the stars aren't out tonight,but neither are we to look up at them
why does hello feel like goodbye?

these memories can't replace,these wishes i wished and these dreams i chased
take this broken heart and make it right

i feel like i lost everything when you're gone
left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
i thought you should know,
you're not making this easy

i never thought i'd be the one to say
please don't, please don't leave me::

-Matchbox Romance

::ToDaY iS aLL YoU'vE GoT NoW::

Theres not quite a word to describe what I'm feeling right now. Vulnerable comes close. Mostly just sad. If you know me well at all, you know that I'm usually very bitter. I mean, lets be honest, that's just how I am. Sometimes I get angry, or frustrated, and on the off chance that you catch me on a bad day, a combination of the three. But today I just feel sad. And its freaking me out because I'm not used to feeling this way. It's a crappy feeling. One of the worst ones. I'd take angry over this any day. When you're angry, you can do something about it, you can hit something, or yell, or scream, or something. But being sad is a pretty helpless thing. Theres no remedy, no cure. Crying helps. But not a lot. It's like my heart is hurting, like watching a puppy get run over. You can't do anything, but wait it out. Eventually you can move on, realize that the puppy is in a better place, and you'll start to feel better. Which gives me hope, I mean I know it will be over one day. But the waiting is sucky. It really is. And when it's over, I'll be better, I'll be stronger, and I'll be able to know that I made the right decision. But for now, I feel sad. I feel very sad.

((HoStAgE To mY oWn HuMaNiTy))

I was going to make this blog about cheer camp but I decided against it. Not only would it be super boring but I just really dont feel like it. If you really want to know then I'll sum it up for you real quick - it was long, hard, and crappy. There ya go.

Mexico on the other hand was different. It was also long and hard but I wouldn't say crappy. It started on an almost 2 hour plane trip to El Paso. I really hate flying. I used to be fine with it, but for some reason I just cant stand it anymore. But I lived, and met Brent, Becca, and Steve-O at the airport. We took a van back to the Hotel where we met up with everyone else ((aside from the advanced team who was already in Mexcio.)) I had dinner with Brent and Nathan which was really fun, I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time. But I was so stinkin tired from camp so I went straight to bed after that. The next morning we left really really early for Mexico. We crossed the border with really no problems and headed for the campsite. It was so much fun to meet all the people from the advanced team and see the camp all set up and ready for us. We unpacked everything and slept. Me and the like 5 other people who didn't bring cots got to sleep on wooden benches the whole week which pretty much sucked but we did get to sleep oustide, under the stars which was awesome. I'm really not the outdoorsy type. I don't do dirt and bugs and sand. But I really enjoyed sleeping out side. For the rest of the week we we woke up extremely early - which i didn't exactly do that great at - worked all day, came home, showered, ate, hung-out, and slept. It was exhausting. We "showered" by filling a plastic bucket with water - undrinkable water I might add - and pouring it on yourself. I've never been so disgusting. But every day I went to bed looking forward to the next. I mean of course there were times that I couldn't wait to get out of there. Times when I was bitter and tired and gross and sun burned and angry. But it was so worth it. Handing the keys to a family who had watched us build them a house for a week, who we had tried to communicate with using our limited spanish knowledge, who lived in a house made from old matress springs, ply wood, and cardboard boxes - it was amazing. I wasn't really expecting to get that emotional when we were done. And it may have been partly because of my lack of sleep - but I cried so hard when we handed the house over. We gave them something that they will remember for the rest of their lives. It was freaking awesome.

But I think that aside from just seeing how truly lucky we are, God wanted to show me the importance of surrounding myself with other believers. Because even when I was just in a terrible mood, there was someone there who could make me laugh again. Whether it was talking with me for 30 minutes on a trailer, helping me attack a certain someone with corn flakes and apple juice, sitting on water coolers and talking about my severe case of "mission trip syndrome", laughing at me when I knocked over a lamp post and fell right on my back, plotting revenge on an old cemented doorway, or just letting me whine - people loved me at my worst. Could that be any cooler?

All in all it was a great week, a great experience, one that I haven't really decided if I want to go through again next year, but I learned so much. And I gained and strengthened so many friendships. And I'm really excited about everything that is going to happen from here.

It's been almost a year since Houston, and things have changed SO much. I can't wait to look back at this trip a year from now, and see what changed. My thought and hope is that it will be a lot.

MEXICO '05!!!!!

...ShE'S SuPeR fReAk-Ay...

Well its Wednesday. Tomorow morning I'll be on a bus to SMU for the dreaded 4-days of the hell they call cheer camp. We'll perform the routine that we've been working on for the past two months tomorow night. The ultimate goal is to get a blue ribbon which would consequently give us a bid to nationals. Second place is the red ribon and lastly the white. White is pretty much a symbol of SUCKage. Also known as a slap to the face.
Anyway, we've been working for this competition for the last two months. But yesterday, TWO DAYS BEFORE competition, before we perform this, before we try for our nationals bid, we find out that one of our girls was in a four-wheeler accident. She now has no toe-nails, no skin on her right leg, and very little on her arm. She can't perform at all, and we have no extras. SO today we got to re-work the ENTIRE routine, add more tumbling, change the stunts, change almost all of the counts, and re-do the ending pyramid. Needless to say, it sucked. So all you people who say cheerleaders don't work hard and cheerleading isn't a sport - SCREW YOU. Because after today, even I'M convinced that cheerleading is a sport - which I never really admitted until now.
Anyway, hell...i mean camp...starts tomorow and ends on Sunday at 12ish. 5 hours later I'll be at the airport waiting for my flight to El Paso. There, I will meet up with most of the youth group and cross the border the next day. We'll be staying in Juarez, Mexico. One week - building six houses - staying in tents - in the heat.

It's gonna be a long week.

In fact, it's gonna be a long nine days.

Until then - i can't really blog - so don't miss me too much.