...We Cheer and We Lead...We Act Like We're On SpEeD...

Went to the Mandatory Tryout Meeting for cheerleading tonight. This was the long one where we talked about tryouts and camp and how much everything costs and demerits and all that useless junk. It's so funny because last year when we heard this EXACT same information...we took it all seriously being the dumb freshmen that we were and now we hear all the "rules that they inforce" and know that most of them are lies.

Tryouts are in three weeks...March 17th i think. Thats pretty scary. Still gives me time to back out i guess. Though I dont think I will...and im still not exactly sure why.

Banquet is this freaking fRiDaY!!! gosh im so excited!! The fab four are all getting out of school early to get our nails done and our hair done and such. Its gonna be dead fun. Then banquet at the Mariott starts at 7 and runs till 12 ending with the dance. ahh im so excited!! :)

Then we are all going to Brookes for our after party...which is gonna include IHOP at three in the morning in our formal dresses. Speaking of which my dress is still amazing and im way excited because i got GORGEOUS matching shoes from Target for 6 dollars... and there are gonna be girls wearing 150 dollar heels...stupid? i think so.

So our official cheerleading count downs stand as this...
20ish hours - Last pep rally...possilby ever
4 Days - Banquet
17 days - Tryouts

**...Well we dont like you either...We're cheerleaders...wE aRe ChEeRlEaDeRs!** - hm right

...FoR ThE SuN To RiSe iT MuSt GeT DaRk...

Every so often Marci Nicole Nick and I take a weekend trip to the dollar theatre and then IHOP where we have the same waitress and put on a skit for her every single time. Well last night we were supposed to go again last night only with more people this time, but after everyone had been invited it ended up a big couples night: Nicole and Nick, Addie and Matt, and Alyx and Jeremy. So needless to say, Marci and I decided not to go and instead do something different. So I went over to Keilas house for the night. We got invited to play Lava Pit again. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that. My nose has gotten so much better...its a bit on the yellow side and my eyes are still black but its barely noticeable when I put make up on. However I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to return to the greatness that is lava pit just yet. Plus the game got cancelled so I didnt really have to make that decision. Instead I just spent the whole night with Keila like old times. We haven't gotten to do that in so long and it was really fun. We got to have like a serious talk just about the changes that we've been going through and be really stupid playing ping pong and watching Blind Date in the same night. I just love her.

Anyway, today I have like a million and three things to do. Then tonight I think I'm gonna do something with Addie and Nicole since we didn't hang out last night. I haven't seen them in like forever so it should be fun just to catch up and stuff. I'm kinda sad that I'm not going to the Stavesacre concert though. I mean I dont really know them that well and I'm completely broke but it still would have been way fun. So that kinda sucks but whatever.

Brandon's going to turn 18 this wednesday. I don't believe it though. Theres no way that he's 18...its just not possible. Its also not possible that he got an acedemic scholarship. I dont know if any of you know him but he just went to court for skipping school and I dont think hes ever done homework in his lifetime. But he did somehow and he got another one for drama. He's decided on UTA as well. I don't want him to leave home but UTA isn't that far away so it will be okay. Ugh its just weird.

**In Birmingham they love the govenor...**

...ThE aMaZiNg GuMmY bEaRs...

So i really got a good taste of Highschool today. What I mean is this...

Sunday afternoon: so I had just come home from driving around with chris listening to Spice Girls and decided to call my dear friend keila. (who has a xanga now because shes a sellout! but you should still check it out...look to your right) Anyway, keila said she was at some church - i forgot the name - down on main street with rogan shannon travis and steven to see Mr. Westbrook's rendition of Oklahoma! So i decided that since I had nothing better to do, I'd go support good old westbrook as well. By the end I realized that the 10 dollars I paid to get in was completely wasted and Id rather choke on a nail than see that again.

Sunday Eveningish: So the play was over and we decided that it was Lava Pit time! So me, steven, rogan, shan shan, keila and travis went up to Kids Kastle where we met ashleigh, charlie, and scottie for some serious LP. So we were playing and for a first timer i wasnt as horrible as i thought that id be. So I'm running right? And I come to the little spider web, rope course thing. Which has never been a hard thing to cross so I dont really know what happened. But as I was going across it my foot got caught on one of the ropes and before I had time to catch myself, my face was slaming into a slat of wood. As if that wasn't enough It knocked me backwards and I fell through the ropes and onto the ground. Then, a little shaken up by the blood that was spewing everywhere and somewhat disoriented from the impact, I stood up quickly only to find that I was standing under the wooden platform. Needless to say I hit my head on that and got knocked back down to the ground.

Long story short, I have a broken nose and a black eye...not to mention the scrapes and bruises all over my face. And the doctor said it was only going to get worse before it gets better.

So at school I've been getting some pretty interesting looks and I've had to tell the story over and over again. And as we all know, rumors in any school spread like wild fire and I've heard some pretty interesting... lets say... "variations of the truth". People have heard things about how it happened ranging from me falling in the middle of the hallway at school to me being in a car crash to me being on drugs and running into a stop sign. I dont even know how things like that get started! All i know is that the beauty of highschool is that it only last four years and I've already knocked out almost a fourth of it.

**have you ever seen a llama...wearing pajamas?**

...HiGhEr aNd HiGhEr...

Lindsey stayed home from school today. All day...
why?
oh thats right...because she wanted to TAN!
fair? i think not...

However I did go to school today. Did I wish I was at home tanning? yes
but no...i was at wasting my time learning useless information and stressing about grades and cheerleading. And everyone was staring at me and my awesomely deformed face...with my swollen, sesemee street nose and black eyes. Or in my kind, sweet brother's words... FRANKENFACE!

((breathes in deeply and sighs loudly with head tilted back and eyes closed...))

today was a gReAT day.

**its kharama that'll get you when you're staring at your feet...or looking over your shoulder at what could be**

...CaLiFoRnIa DiDn'T TeLL YoU...

My Mom is so great. I definently dont give her enough credit sometimes. She picked me up from school yesterday ready to go shopping for a dress for cheerleading banquet. I'd gone shopping with Lindsey, Liz, and Taylar the weekend before for dresses but came up short when the one black dress that I was absolutely in love with was too expensive.
Friday however was not the best day that I've ever had. Whatever sickness that I had a week or two ago has yet to leave my system and I was feeling exceptionally under the weather. So we started out at a consignment shop 407 with little luck considering all the dresses were like 80's prom dresses. Then went to the CCA resale store and though I still couldnt find one, I bought a few things including a cute, vintage sweater and some new t-shirts. The same thing happened when we went to DOTS and Thrift World. So we drove home around 8 o clock with no dress but some new clothes. I hadn't been to thrift world in a while and had almost forgotten the incredible awesomeness of that store.
So I came home and went in my room to made plans with the FaB FoUr. I changed into sweats and a t shirt and opened my door to go eat something. Right when I walked out I saw the above-mentioned amazing, black dress hanging from my door frame. :) :)!!!
So now I have the perfect dress and im going with my amazing, wonderful friends. Banquet is 2 weeks away and I'm so excited!

So anyway last night was FaB FoUr night again...we went to rich-o lindsey's house and ate old valentines candy. Then we called brandon and he picked us up and took us to WalMart so we could buy sewing needles. (dont ask.) Ryan and Randy came up there but we were in a hurry and didnt get to hang out with them...then since the world is against us and fab four night never works out.... hentizle had to leave @ 11:30 because her brother came in town. So Jenny and Eathen came over and we wasted two hours of pain and frustration for nothing!! GR! Then eathen left and the rest of our night/morning was...well...insane. But lindsey's alive so its okay! haha.
Needless to say it was a very interesting night of chocolate, and belly button piercings, and scary cats, and annoying little sisters, and near-death experiences. But it was way fun.

So today I'm babysitting my little sister from 4ish until tomorow at 12 because my parents are going out for their anniversary. That should be interesting...

**The amazing, jumping tales of GuMmY bEaRs!!** :) i love the fab four!!

...I wAnNa DaNcE WiTh SoMeBoDy...

A few weeks ago my friend erin told me to go back and read some of my old blogs. So I picked a few at random and it was really strange and funny at the same time, to see some of the things I had written. I really laid it down heavy at times. And all of my blogs were about me and stuff that was going on in my life, usually negative. "This sucks..." "I'm really pissed because..." "Im totally stressing about..." etc. It was weird like reading things that I had written and remembering exactly when I was writting it and my motivation for writing it. I'm such a loser too. Like I'd read a sentance or a random thought that I had and just think how stupid it was that I would ever say that. And some were really recent too. So lets just forget about how awesomly nerdy i am shall we?
And soo much has changed in me and my life, its crazy! Like just in the last 6 months or so, even I am surprised at how much has happened and how my views on so much has changed.

My blog has been pretty (for lack of a better term,) intense at times. And really sappy too. But its cool to see how the things that I thought would never change or go away, have worked out. Its kind of comforting.

...I just wrote a somewhat optimistic blog...who would've thought?

**life is like a rollar coaster ride...the crazy turns and ups and downs along the way... it'll through you off if you don't hold on tight...**

...JuSt An OrDiNaRy DaY...

Our JV/Freshman Pep ralley is tomorow and may i just say that its going to SUCK! We got like no time to put this thing together and we just started practicing with the music on thursday. We've yet to do a complete run through with music where every stunt hit and we are performing it ...when? Oh thats right...TOMOROW! at 3:30. It's really frustrating because we've been looking forward to this pep rally for a while and it's just not coming together.

But today was a pretty good day towards the end. Hung out with a pretty cool kid for a while and forget all about getting knocked out in cheerleading because Jenna can't full down, and forgeting the homework that i actually did, and running into a door before third period. Not to mention looking like crap in sweats and a t-shirt while all of my friends wore their cute little pink valentines day outfits.

We're cheering at the varsity boys soccer game tomorow night...yuck. I hate cheering @ soccer games because i never know what to say... "kick that ball!" just sounds retarted. :)

Anyway, hope you all had a wonderful Valentines Day!

Oh and just to everyone know.... my official cheerleading decision is...
I dont want to do it, and I probably shouldn't but im not brave enough to not do it...so im trying out. It probably makes no sense to yall but oh well.

**id give it up for just one more day with you...give it up give it all away...**

...pLeAsE BeLiEvE mE wHeN i SaY...

Went to my True Love Waits ceremony tonight. It was pretty interesting to see all the people that came to support all of us and I'm really lucky to have gotten to go through the program with some of the girls from my biblestudy. We have been getting so much closer recently and I love spending time with them even though our group is so diverse. The whole experience was interesting but fun and definently worth it. I hope that this will be a promise that I can keep.

Keila and I went to get our nails done today. I haven't had a manicure in like forever so it was really fun. I got pink and she got a french manicure. I'm so jealous of hers though because it's like way cute and mines really - not cute but oh well. It was only like 12 bucks so its cool.

The Notebook is out on DVD and im so super pumped. The Notebook is seriously like my life, like it is the all time BEST chick-flick love movie EVER! Not only is the story line beautiful but Ryan Gosling is AMAZING and gorgeous and basically like my future husband. I haven't bought it yet because there is a little thing called money that tends to get in my way so if you see it and remember how much you absolutely love me...then you should totally buy it for me!! :)

So tonight after the ceremony I went to IHOP with my parents because they're too cheap for something like Olive Garden (though i totally tried, brent) and now I'm at home about to watch Garden State with them. On a friday night, home with my family, and I don't even care.

But tomorow I am going cheer banquet dress shopping with lindsey, taylar, and liz. Then to Ryan's concert and back to Liz's for some serious fab four time.

I'm so glad its the weekend!!! :) I didnt have the best week so I'm just glad its over.

**When she gets down...she gets down RiGhT.**

...Welcome to her busy dizzy life...

So guess what? For those of you who saw me on sunday night freaking out about my cheerleading decision...they changed it! So now i have a little bit longer to decide. Im not exactly sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing...But I guess I was just stressing for nothing.

I'm getting my permit this week... thats right Nurge, i lied - you actually got your permit before me... but you are still a senior who cant drive!
Anyway, my parents are making this huge deal about it and stressing about how i havent studied enough and what not when really its not a big deal and most of my friends got theirs without really studying for more than an hour or so. So im really frustrated about that.

Then I of course have 4 hours of homework a night because my classes are way stressful. And I made a 75 on my english test because I was sick when they reviewed for it. So now the 98 that I had in that class is going to average back out to like a low A or high B. GR!

This was a really random blog...i'm too tired to think.

**It's been weeks worth of weekends when fake I.D.'s and fake passions are her best friends...**

...EaSy As OnE, TwO, ThReE...

I took Thursday off from life. As I'm sure many of you read my three mile long blog from Wednesday, I decided that I just really wasn't up to going to school on Thursday. Actually I was running a temperature and felt like crap but getting to miss a day after having a horrible one was pretty nice too. I woke up pretty early with the house to myself as Brandon and Bridget were at school and my parents both at work. Had Ego waffles and watched Good Morning America with plans of doing homework and my biblestudy after. However I fell asleep and didn't wake back up until 3:30 so most of my afternoon was gone. But it was still a relaxing break from everyone and everything. I'm gonna have to do that again soon.

Last night was super fun! i went to my "surprise" party that nicole and addie through me, alyx, and nick because our bday's are all pretty close together. But they told us about it before the party so it really wasn't a surprise :) but it was still way fun...after a few certain people left that is. Everyone just kinda hung out the whole night and it was really fun. Then the fantasic four slept at nicoles until this morning when nick called us at 9:30!! Well that's when everyone else got up but i slept until 11:30 ish because I really haven't felt that great this week. Then Nick decides to start beating on this "tribal drum" so I finally got out of bed.
Then Matt, Jeremy, and Jimmy came over and we all just hung out for a while. They left at like 5ish and then we met them and a bunch of other people up at the Students Vs. Faculty basketball game... the game was pretty boring but I got to see a bunch of people so it was okay.

So its been a pretty good weekend I suppose. Had a few stupid-head moments :( and really never recovered since Thursday but it was better than going to school.

Me and Liz have quit life...just to let all of you know!! :)
Liz what would i do with out you?? You are like my saving grace! And we can suck at everything together!!

**take the very breath you gave me...take the heart from my chest...**

...pReTtY SoOn ShE'lL FiGuRe oUt WhAt HiS iNtEnTiOnS WeRe AbOuT...

okay just to warn you - this blog is going to completely consist of me complaining...so I wouldnt read it if i were you...

Okay so today really sucked. And by really sucked, I mean if I had the chance to move to Iran i would take it over staying here... I woke up today feeling like a truck had run over me...I'm not the type to fake sick to get out of something but i really wasnt sure how I was going to make it to school feeling the way I did. But ever since my brother went to truency court a few months ago, I got completely screwed and am not allowed to miss a day of school even if I was dying. Thank you Brandon. But he had a crappy day today to so I'll let it slide just this once.

So I get in the car w/ brandon and head to school looking like crap, w/ no make up on, hair up and messy, ugly jeans, a thrift world t-shirt, and my ripped up sweatshirt. So I'm in tears on the way to school because I felt horrible and by horrible I mean it felt like I had been run over by an 18-wheeler, my eyes were burning (oh yeah i may not have mentioned that I have pink eye in...oh thats right...BOTH eyes) but hey! no missing school for that!

And Brandon decides that the only way to cheer me up is by blaring Spice Girls in the car and dancing to it...and so he does. So for the rest of the day, i feel like crap and cant get "if you wanna be my lover" out of my head. Then we walk in through the band/drama hall like always and he "leads" me through the hall singing...no screaming Spice Girls. And by leads i mean putting his hands on my shoulders and making me walk into like 5 million people and their instruments. All of his drama friends got a kick out of that and I was not allowed to forget it for the rest of the day.

Then was biology...which really isnt that hard of a class but i just hate it. I really want it to die. I mean I dont care what cells are made of or what type of osmosis occurs during this time in this situation and blah blah blah...

Biology was followed by 15-minute break and then english. I really do enjoy my english class...its a lot of work but I like it. But of course today is the one day I forget about my homework, then do it in biology to turn in - and then loose it.

After english is Spanish I. Thats when the 4 Motrin and 2 decongestant wore off. And apparently sleeping in that class is like committing murder. So I got yelled at for that. Went to lunch to find out I was almost out of money on my account and had to eat this sick-nasty "pizza" - though i doubt thats what it was - and stole two of Taylars Motrin just to get me through the day. Went back to spanish...to find out i'm making a freaking B in that class which does not count as a p/ap course and therefore will bring down my GPA. Yes I understand that grades aren't that important...but whatever.

After spanish is cheerleading...and sometimes I wonder why I have to even think about whether or not to try-out for next year. - but knowing me i probably will - ((officiall "have-to-make-the decision-by-day is Monday...)) we worked on our Freshmen/JV pep-rally. And if you are not a cheerleader then just know that we really do work our butts off. Today was just not a good cheerleading day... YOU try stunting Kendal while feeling like death and then having another cheerleader yell at you for something that was their fault...YAY FOR ME!

So then I came home from school with the intentions of going straight to the hair place, then out to dinner, then to biblestudy which was going to be at IHOP tonight. But lucky me, I get sick on the day that all of that was planned for. So instead I came home and slept for 3 hours. Then I woke up and had dinner and now I am blogging. I should be sleeping but I just took another 3 Motrin and 1 decongestant which keep me awake. So here I am blogging about my day. Sorry to those of you who have read this far. I suggest you stop reading now.

My brother apparently had a bad day and his solution is having a million people over to play video games. He also decided to steal my cell phone (which is dead anyway because i didnt pay it again...so it doesnt really matter) and the house phone. So every person that called me was either yelled at by one of his friends, or told that I was dead. I doubt we are truly related.

So now i am sitting at my computer in my favorite cut off sweat pants (jealous liz??) and still feel like a truck ran over me. If i am forced to go to school tomorow then I am walking right out...no joke. I'll take my 2 Wednesday schools and 6 demerits. Bring it on.

And I've recently realized that I am not strong enough to do the things that I want to. Even if I try SO hard to do the right thing...I always end up failing at it. Yeah i know I'm throwing myself a pity-party but I dont really care.

I've also realized that just as soon as you put your faith in someone they just tear you down. So the obvious solution...put my faith in God. But its really a lot harder than that...at least I think so. And that people and their intentions are always hidden under a really sweet, almost too perfect front.

Yipety Friggin Doo.

I know that I really do have a good life...and that I sure as heck am an extremely lucky person. As a really awesome person pointed out to me...I've been given a second chance and I need to use it wisely. We'll see how that goes.

**when I think I've lost it all...i go on...**